Tag: Inane Whittering

Inane Whittering #16: Cosmic Spaghetti

I think my wordpress ought to prefix an apology for lack of signs of life onto each of my entries on here.

Since returning to the land of tea and crumpets, I have found myself in an office doing paid work whilst simultaneously attempting to research and write my final assignment for my year abroad.

Yesterday, I went back to my university for the first time in 5 months and for the first time in my life, actually spend 6 or so hours in the library; that mythical place of work.

Fortunately, I was chaperoned by the long-suffering Mr. Hunter. This meant that I was unable to get myself lost anywhere or end up getting myself arrested for disrupting the peace.

I might have made the odd foray into the rather imposing world of shelves, books and deadly silence (by deadly silence, I’m talking the “in the library, no-one hears you scream” style silence) a couple of times in first year, but I have to confess that I got complacent in my second, and my love affair with the library had ended when I was wined, dined and seduced by Amazon and its Kindle.

In any case, as it turns out, when there are exams coming up, the library is rather busy. Funny, that. So we ended up in the area near the café. (I tried later to explain that this was a tactically-made decision as it meant that I was close to a source of tea.) This meant that we could actually talk to each other.

Interspersed with the hours of me whinging about the fact that I was intellectually chasing my tail and getting nowhere, Matt decided to join in and complain about Ibn Taymiyya’s theological writings and the idea of pre-eternity.

The problem seemed to be understanding what exactly pre-eternity is. I don’t know about you, but my immediate reaction was to take my understanding of the word “eternity” and then ask myself how the heck you begin to think that there was a point in time before forever.

2 minutes of googling and His Noodliness decided to clear matters up for me through the medium of Cosmic Spaghetti.

Draw a line. In the middle, you have the present. The leftmost point is the past; the rightmost the future. This, argues Ibn, is how all creatures (including humans) view and experience time.

God His Noodliness, however, does not. He is omniescent and omnipotent and sees all of those points on the line simunltaneously.

So imagine that line is now a single strand of dried spaghetti. Rotate it so that you see a single point, as if you are looking down a tube. That is pre-eternity.

And that, dear reader, is what you call a Cosmic Spaghetti moment.

Shame it took me about 5 hours to have a similar moment with the structure of my current assignment.

Inane Whittering #13

Yuletide greetings to all – I hope you’ve all eaten and drunk far too much (I know I certainly have)

And I thought I would introduce to you the latest addition to my rather eccentric wardobe:

I come from the North, where the penguins roam and the polar bears graze.

Yes, I now have a hooded scarf. With ears.

My life is now complete.

Edit: I am aware that Penguins are not found at the North Pole. When I wrote North, think North of Watford. It’s grim up North.