I said that the next thing I’d ramble on about would be being commitment-phobe. I lied. Don’t hate me.
I decided not to ramble on about the difference between being emotionally claustrophobic and being a commitment-phobe because I had an Archimedes moment. It was one of those moments when you’re in the bath contemplating life, the universe and everything and you suddenly have the most amazing, splendiferous notion as to why things are the way they are and you then have the urge to share it with everyone. Except in my case, I decided to finish having my bath first before trying to write anything down; ended up having dinner and now I want to write my marvellous idea.. it’s all a bit hazy.
So, please, dear reader, be gentle.
I’ll start from the beginning (not half way through this time) and try to explain from where this fragment of lunacy emerged. Yesterday I managed to sort out a flat to live in for my year abroad working in the ceiling-mines of Munich. Which has left me to do a fair bit of pondering (and thus give me a reason to completely ignore all my work sitting in front of me). So, thinking about the whole “going-abroad-to-pretend-to-be-a-real-adult-who-can-look-after-themselves-and-be-completely-normal-and-boring” thing can make you a tad.. sentimental? Anyway, I suddenly came to the conclusion that there are certain roles that people play in our lives, and wherever you go, you should be able to find someone else to fulfil that role.
The first one that came to mind was The Comforter. This is often a parent figure or another mother-substitute. (Please note substitutes and supplements should be used as part of a balanced diet) This person is the rock in your life who keeps you from doing anything outrageously stupid (like ringing your boss/ex and giving them a damn good piece of your mind) and who you can’t imagine being without. This is often the hardest role to find a substitute/supplement for, yet it is perhaps one of the most looked-for.
Then there’s The Fellow Loon. The Fellow Loon is someone with who you feel completely at home with and appearances don’t matter. You can let go and let it all hang out with your Fellow Loon. The only proviso is that you’re both as bat-shit crazy as the other.
The Wet Blanket. The Eeyore in your life, always pointing out the perhaps inconvenient repercussions of your wonderful ideas and hi-jinks – can often lack self-confidence. (This person is generally also quite cuddly, but may need help in reattaching their tail.)
The Distraction – the on-off boyfriend/girlfriend where you’re not sure what you feel for them, but when things are a bit boring, you feel the urge to get back in contact to spice things up a bit with a smattering of drama.
The Brother Substitute – the fraternal role sometimes played by someone with whom you thought you had a spark, only to realise that it wasn’t /that/ kind of spark. These are the guys who insist on walking you home every time you meet, who stand up for you and get annoyed on your behalf. They’d probably also go to the ends of the earth and back if you asked them. Oh, and they’ll always insist on buying the drink. These are perhaps the most difficult people to find – the sincere, the honest, the respectful, and the ones who can talk about guns and WW2 until the cows come home (though that last part’s not required).
The Sister – the sisterly influence in your life where you commiserate about boys/men, work and generally talk clothes, make-up and all kinds of weird and wonderful things. This sounds similar to the Fellow Loon in a way, and I suppose it is because of the silliness involved and the level of comfort that both of you will draw from each other. But the support/strength that you get from each other is different. Trust me. Oh, and most likely one of you’ll steal the other’s shoes/makeup and you’ll argue. Then you’ll realise it’s all too stupid, make up, and then do each other’s hair.
The Diva – everything in their life is the worst/best thing ever and they demand your attention and affection. They often serve to make you appreciate the simplicity in your own life and to be appreciative of the small things. Often things can be about look and status and this can help remind you that life is simply too short. However, only so much time can be spent with these people before you go crazy. The bad crazy. Where you turn into one yourself. The Diva is also incredibly flamboyant.
The Understated Companion – the person who you don’t really acknowledge enough, if at all. They do all the little things in the background to try to make things easier for you and they often manage to do it with such subtlety that you remain blissfully ignorant.
The Quiet One – always watch the quiet one. You never know quite what they’re thinking.
The Token Ginge – much loved, much teased and generally an okay person. Often considerably geeky, although may be slightly touchy on the subject of hair colour.
The Insufferable Optimist – the ever happy, bouncing, eager, puppy-like person in your life. They can be ever so slightly annoying when things are stressful, and if left unattended for long enough, may start shredding toilet paper. Also loves to be scratched behind the ears and playing fetch.
The Bad Influence – the inner devil. The person responsible for all those times when you announced that you had work to do and that you’d stay in that evening, only to be persuaded to go out “just for one drink”. Five hours later and you stagger back through the front door having had a good time, but sadly your essay’s not written itself, so you end up drinking numerous cups of tea to sober up to try and finish the work. Good in moderation.
The French One – also known as the Immaculately Dressed. This is the person who’s always dressed and coiffed perfectly for the occasion; always with the perfect figure, generally wears scarves and always looks chic – often with that effortless “I-got-ready-in-10-minutes” air. Will typically like good food and drink (wine, not ribena) and can be quite the romantic. I’m not talking about the stereotype; these people DO exist. In fact, they do these things so effortlessly, you feel like a tramp.
This list is by no means finished – I might continue it at a later date, but for the meantime: